I am Ready.

It's Saturday morning and I wake up at the usual seven o'clock A.M. to go to Rescate (the homeless ministry at my church). Today is the day I am supposed to start singing songs during the worship time, all in Spanish of course. I am a little nervous. I can feel the familiar sensation of light headedness creeping along my nerves and my hands begin to tremble. I am praying that God will just use me and my voice to open the hearts of the men and women that will come to sing with me. At least I try to pray, because Mama (bless her heart) loves to talk during our car rides together, so it's a little hard to get a word in edgewise to my bro Jesus Christ. I am expecting to meet my other teamates there, and possibly get Wes to film it so I can show my Momma the video and have her be proud of her singing partner. However, mom and I pull up and I am the only member of my team there, and it turns out none of them are coming. I'm in this thing alone, so I put a smile on my face and give up all of my thoughts of doubt and nerves to God. He is the only reason I am doing this. I personally don't find my voice to be anything spectacular, but if I can use it to touch the hearts of His children, then throw me a mic and let's get singing! One of the men that helps in the ministry is practicing his English with me as I show him which songs I will be singing. As I stand on the stage waiting for the homeless men to flow in from upstairs, I say another quick prayer. God give me strength and use me to make these people Yours. As soon as they are all seated, I am given a quick introduction because most of them recognize me. The music starts and I can barely hear it because of low volume and the pounding of my own heart. Not until the very last song did I truely feel the Holy Spirit working in me, and at that point I gave up trying to get the men to sing along with me and I just poured out my heart and sang to God. It was an incredible feeling, and afterwards many of them came up to me and complimented me on the performance. I know that with practice and time one of those men will fall to his knees and give up his life to God because I was there helping him along.

A lot of the time I find myself frowning at the thought of going out and evangelizing door-to-door because it just seems so futile. "Hi, I'm from the United States with a team of eight. Do you have a few minutes for me to share what God has been doing in my life? Alright sweet, see you later." Even if they do come to know Christ through my quick, watered-down testimony, how can I be sure they have really and truely surrendered their life to God? Becoming changed takes time. Yes, making the decision is a hard and enormous step to take, but if you don't continue up the staircase... you'll never get anywhere. I've realized, though, that even though I could share my testimony a million times I would never get any results unless God was with me and working in my audience. If I don't go out those million times, I'm stealing God's chances of rescuing His people, and who am I to deny Him anything?

Win (Wes's little brother), Steve Flockhart and his team from New Season church came that afternoon. They will all be here for the week, and it's been evangelism...evangelism...evangelism. I garuntee that this isn't what Win was expecting when he chose to come spend his February break in El Salvador with his big brother, but in the end I think he will be changed for the better by coming here. Saturday night we set up a little stage in a park. Win and I sat next to each other in the audience listening to the music and Pastor Steve's message. The entire time there was a homeless man named Alex sitting next to Win. He introduced himself, but because of the language barrier there was little real conversation. The entire time Alex sat next to Win, Win squirmed in his seat and was absolutely uncomfortable. Not because Alex was unclean. Not because Alex was bothering him. Not even because of his A.D.D. It was because Alex had no shoes on. I could see Win being convicted. He couldn't stand to see a man's feet bare and cracked because of so much hard use. Even though Steve's message was being translated into Spanish, you could tell the message wasn't getting to Alex, and so he got up and began to walk away. Win, without a second thought, followed him to the edge of the grass, stopped him and took the shoes off of his own feet and gave them to this man he knew nothing about. Alex, a man who would have walked away, hugged Win with the energy of a man who has experienced true kindness, and walked back to the chairs and receieved Christ. I got a glimpse of the kind of man Win will be someday, and I look forward to seeing him grow into that person. He is so like Wes in so many ways, and his ability to make friends whenever, wherever will, like Wes, allow him to show so many people the way to God. Not too shabby for a potential brother-in-law eh? ;)

That was Saturday, and after many activities, I have yet to really stand up and make an impact in someone's life. I know in my heart and soul that I have a story and a passion for God that He can use to change someone. I'm forcing myself to keep my head up, and know that as long as I keep myself open to His will, He will use me when the time is right.

All For His Glory,
Taylor