Here's Lookin' At You Kid.

How precious do we really consider life? Do we really think about how little time we have, or do we just live everyday like we have all the time in world? I lost one of my friends yesterday. He is the first person I've ever known that's died and I honestly don't know how to feel. It absolutely breaks my heart and my mind is like a movie reel of memories I've made with him playing over and over again. I remember looking out my window at my house and seeing him riding his bike down the street or riding a skateboard. He always seemed to have a cast or an injury growing up because he was so fearless and always hurt himself playing baseball or doing something crazy. He was always active and I envy his athletic ability even to this day. The first time I ever played Mario Tennis was in his basement. We would jump on John Paul Steele's trampoline for hours in our neighborhood. I would sit on the curb by his house while I watched him and my brother and the other boys of the neighborhood playing street hockey or any number of sports. The first time I ever listened to "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey was with him in Personal Fitness our junior year of high school. I remember laughing so hard because he was singing along to it like a fool. He didn't care what people thought of him. He was always joking around having a good time. I'm not going to lie, he wasn't my best friend in the world and I'm not going to pretend I knew everything about him. But he WAS my friend and I looked forward to managing the baseball team at Kell simply because I loved to see him play along with the other guys. Our Junior year I couldn't drive yet, and I remember feeling so cool because I got to ride home with him and his older brother from the games. I remember when all of sudden a bunch of my friends thought he was so cute and I again felt so smug because I had known him my whole life. I remember so many nights being on headset at Chick-Fil-A and his dad ordering a Dr. Pepper (no ice) and an Arnold Palmer for himself. It always made my day to see that family come through my drive-thru. I am so blessed to have reconnected with him in high school, because I would never trade hearing him call me "T-Timeeee" down the hallways for anything. The last time I ever saw him was at the Braves vs Mets game in early August. Seeing him didn't even register as something special in my mind, because he's always been there. He's always been in my life, so I never truely valued what an awesome kid he is. I don't even want to think about him in the past tense, because it doesn't seem possible that I can't hate on him for being a Yankees fan anymore.

 Now that I think about it, how many friends do I have that I've just let go because I "don't have time" to catch up or because I'm in another country? What kind of excuse is that? You can't put off being someone's friend for another day. Can you honestly say you know you'll be here another day? Is it worth risking never getting to say goodbye to someone? I can't help but think that if I had been home and had hung out with him I could have seen the signs. I could have said something. I could have reassured him that he had a whole brilliant life to live. I could have sung "Don't Stop Believin'" to him. I could have done anything. Suicide is such a sensitive subject. You will always think "if I could have just...bla bla bla". It's not anyone's fault, yet I know I can't help but wish I could have tried to reach him. At the end of the day it is what it is, and all we can do is pray that he's watching a Yankees game in Heaven right now.

I am not willing to let another life of a friend slip through my fingertips. I am not willing to let another life blink out of this world feeling like there is no other option. I am not willing to get another phone call saying one of my friends is dead. I am not willing to throw away a friendship because I don't have time. Each day is precious, because in the big picture...our days ARE numbered. So will we spend them mourning the days we should have made the most of, or will we learn from our yesterdays in order to make our tomorrow the best it can be?

Rest in peace, Zachary Quinn Grillo. Thanks to you I value each and every minute of the days I have left. Thanks to you I will never take another life for granted. Thanks to you I am a fan of Journey. Thanks to you I push myself to run just a little bit harder, because you could always run for miles. I will never forget you, and your entire family will forever be in my heart. You'll always be my favorite #7.

All for His Glory,
Taylor