Ya'll Ready For This?

The clock reads 12:04am, and I am snuggling into my bed when a thought hits me. There are less than two weeks before I return home. Joy and unbelievable excitement well up inside of me and I do a little happy squeal. Throughout my time here I have often wanted to go home. "Just for a day", I would say. "Just one week", I would think. Being here is uncomfortable. That's fine, because I'm not here to be comfortable. I am here to grow with God and try to open myself to what His plan is for my life. Thus far I'm still not sure what that is. I considered being a Pediatrician. Seeing the need of the kids here and how absolutely precious they are stirs a comforting, motherly side of me I did not know I possesed. I would love to use medical knowledge to do ministry in countries that are forced to go without medical help. I realized that that profession is extremely unreasonable for me. Is it a noble thought? Of course. Is it right for me? Probably not. I'm a bookworm. I love to use big words. I love to find that perfect arrangement of words that makes them take on a whole new level of imagery. Math and science are not, have never been and will most certainly never be my forte. Teaching English to the kids here has allowed me to discover I have a love for teaching.

 Me + English + Kids + Teaching = Education!

It could work. All I know is that I've still got time to figure it out, and a lot more praying to do.

Do not get me wrong, I love being here. I love seeing a different side of life than I knew existed. I love going to school every day and learning the language and going out into church and the city and putting it into use. I absolutely love interracting with my friends here because they have shown me what friendship can be like. I am becoming a better friend by being here. However, I have never been more ready to return home. I want to hug my momma. I want to watch football with my Philly. I want to look at ridiculous amounts of cute clothes that we cannot afford to buy with my little big sister. I want to interact with my brother, and attempt to reconnect with him. I want to see the new life my oldest sister has made for herself in New York with my brother-in-law. I want to work at Chick-Fil-A again. Not so much that it makes me unhappy again, but enough to serve people again with an open heart and a big, unwavering smile on my face. I want to laugh in the car with my best friends, and make late night runs to Dairy Queen. I want to sing at the top of my lungs with my mom to the songs that we love to listen to over and over again. There are so many things that I want and miss. I am mentally, physically, emotionally, and most of all spiritually exaughsted. It is time to go home. Rest. Renew my strength. Prepare myself for my final semester here in El Salvador, because I know it is going to be even more challenging than this one has been.

As amazing as it is going to be to see all of my family friends again, I know that it is when I am back home...surrounded by the luxuries of the United States, all the old temptations of my life... that the spiritual battle will hit me the hardest. Here it is easy to just take a step back and remind myself that God is with me. There are so few distractions here, it is almost effortless to fall into that peaceful place where I can just sit and praise God. It will be when I am in my old world, that my new self will be tested the most severely.

Ephesians 6:10-18 says, " ¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

 ¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. "

I am ready.

All for His Glory,
Taylor