I Don't Want To Go Through The Motions.

Four days from now I will have been living in El Salvador for exactly two months. Where did the time go? Here's what I've learned thus far:
-Life is too short not to take advantage of everyday.
-Friends are too precious not to love them each and every time you see them or talk to them.
-God is the only one who can truely give me joy in this life.
-Jesus died for me, and because of that my life will be dedicated to honoring that sacrifice.
-Rules are made for a reason, and are meant to be respected. Following them is not an option.
-The other members of my team were chosen by God to be here for a reason, so it's up to me to respect them and decide to love them, even when all I want to do is run away.
-This experience is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I have no right to squander it by being discontent.
-Being discontent is a choice, just like being unhappy happens when we let ourselves fall under the mercy of things out of our control.
-I am in control of what I get out of this experience. Nothing anyone says or does can change that.
-God has a plan for me, but it's up to me to let him take control and make it happen.

September was a month of never ending rain and cold nights. It was a month of self-doubt and insecurity in myself and the decision I made by coming here. It was the last time I will ever let myself complain about having downtime. Some people don't even have a bed to sleep in, and I am mad that I have time to think and grow in my relationship with God. It was a month of letting my teammates quarrel and always resort back to being separated no matter how many times someone would bring us back together.

October greets me with a sunny morning and a cool wind to blow away my doubts. El Salvador is awake and pulsating today, as am I. The weather gets warmer and warmer, but I refuse to sweat the small things. I want to wake up every morning, feeling my heart beating, and know that I am alive. I am alive and as long as my heart beats, I will truely live for every moment to the fullest. My team is finally coming together, as we should be. We are united in our mission: to glorify God. We stand united against the evil in this world, and seeing our interactions is going to change the people we touch.

I miss the people I love at home everyday. As suprising as it sounds, I actually miss Chick-Fil-A too. Not the overpowering smell of chicken that follows me home after work every night, but the people who I've met there. That place has changed my life for the better. As much as I wish I could just spend a few days with my family and doing the things I'm accustomed to, there is work to be done here. At the beginning of this journey I told myself I was going to come out of it a changed person. I'm through with going through the motions here. Doing only what is necessary to look like I'm getting something out of it. I am going to take avantage of everyday, and at the end of this...the world I knew before will be rocked by my new presence in it. At the end of the day, this is all for my relationship with God. Some days I'll sit down and think about how different I was even last year. God keeps changing my life for the better over and over again, and I am floored by the extent of His love for us. We are not worthy. We are never thankful enough. We are so imperfect. We have the audacity to tell Him "no" over and over again and yet He is always there for us. He does not need us, but we will never see a day when we need Him any less. I refuse to come out of this life asking myself, "What if I had given everything"?

Isaiah 40:28-31 Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

All For His Glory,
Taylor