The lights are red and blinding and make me sweat. My heart is pounding and my throat convulses when I try to swallow, it's so dry. I need some water. I need a coughdrop. I need to get off this stage and be anywhere but here. The music starts, and I have no choice but to sing. Here it comes, swallow, breathe. Applause. Nothing but applause. I sang my heart out on Friday night and got a thunderous applause from hundreds of strangers. It was the scariest and most exhilarating thing I've ever done. My voice is a gift from God, and I'm glad I finally used it in front of someone other than my car windows and showerhead. School that day was typical, we're still learning about phonetics in Spanish and working really hard to get the accent out of our voices. After the Festival we went home and had dinner with our host family.
Saturday morning we got up early and went to the church. We pulled up and noticed emmediately the wide eyed looks we were getting from the homeless. The people in charge were so nice and happy to have us there to help. While we helped set up the food, the homeless were given showers and given any extra clothing there was to spare. In order for them to get food, they are required to sit in the cafeteria for a devotional time. During this time they introduced us to the people and we sang a song for them. They lit up when they saw us. I love how despite their situation, they still put their hands in the air and sang and worshiped with the passion of someone who eats on a regular basis. God is truely all they have and they cling to Him with a fire that's indescribeable. We passed out the food to them and as they were leaving some of them took the time to approach us. They are understandably not the most cleanly people, but once I forced myself to look past it I was slapped in the face with the reality of how grateful they are for every opportunity they are presented with. It makes me ponder whether I am truely using my time here for the right reasons. Yes, I helped feed the homeless, but did I really put my heart into it? Did I just go through the motions? Are any of us actually using the time we have to the fullest?
That afternoon we went back to the church to watch Jorge's concert rehearsal. The entire concert incorporates sign language with dance moves. I sat so that while he was dancing in front of the group, his back was facing me. Watching the sunlight pour around him as he lead the group, I got chills. It's like his hands are made for signing. My eyes were glued to his every move and I can honestly say everytime I see him doing his thing I become more and more inspired. He is a master of touching people's hearts simply by being who he is. I want a day to come where people see me and how I live and become mesmerized by the work God is doing through me.
Church that night was really great. We were split up into three groups for small groups. We have a leader and it will be an opportunity to meet new girls and really get into using Spanish. My leader is Liz and she is such a sweetheart. She was so nervous to talk to us because she is self-concious about her English, but I assured her we are the least judgemental people she'll ever meet. Katelyn and Leah are also in my group and I cannot wait to start discussing the gospel with these girls and really making some friends here. Fransisco, one of the pastors at the church and our friend, took us out to Pizza Hut to eat. It was good, of course, but it was the first time in a long time I've felt our team really start to bond again. I hope we are able to come together in a big way, because if we can't stand united with people we live with everyday, how can we expect to reach the hearts of people we've never met before?
Sunday morning we got up for church as usual. I love our church, but when we don't have a translator it is so frustrating and difficult to get into it. You go to church to celebrate the word of God with other believers, and it's dissapointing to only be able to be there halfway. It's just another reason I can't wait to fully pick up the language. Jorge translated for us, but instead of going to bible study afterwards we visited one of the daughter churches. It was tiny and the people who attended had chairs flowing out and down the stairs. It was the most intimate experience of worship I've ever born witness to. I had no idea what the service was about because we had no translator, but the music was wonderful and there was not a single person in that room because it's "just the thing to do on Sunday mornings". They all threw their hands into the air, closed their eyes, and worshiped with their whole hearts. I have lost count of the number of times I've gotten chills since I've been here, but being inspired and taken aback by the passion of these people never gets old. That night we went to the mall and I started feeling really tired and fatigued. We've been going nonstop since we got here and I think it's finally catching up to my body.
This morning I slept in, but woke up aching still. We've done laundry and cleaned and relaxed. As much as I love being active and busy, I really did need this day to just let myself quiet down. Tonight our friend Quique is taking us out for some much needed American quisine.
The only big issue resting on my heart at this point is that our team needs to come together. There's nothing huge keeping us at odds with each other, but you can tell there are little things that cause tension. We are so blessed to have been given this opportunity, and I think we just haven't fully realized it yet. We want to do more ministry, but the process is gradual. We've had three Spanish classes, we can't expect to be able to get out there and change lives. With the help of God and some hardwork in the classroom, we're going to be out there rocking people's worlds before we know it. I for one cannot be more thankful for the chance to share my love and heart with someone. Who knows, maybe I'll change the life of someone just by being myself. God made me who I am, afterall.
All for His Glory,
Taylor
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